Poop and Pajamas Take 4

December 14, 2012

Well, mid afternoon has arrived.  I tell you what.  I give my mom and women everywhere who have stayed home to raise their kids, full respect.  I bow to you because this is one tough job.  Taking care of not only your kid, but the house, dishes, clothes, and dinner as well.  Today I managed to clean the kitchen, vacuum, dust, do several loads of laundry, dishes, and take care of my son.  I tell you that at 3:15 P.M. I am wiped.  Women who stay home I truly respect your job.  I still have the bathrooms and the down stairs to clean, which will be on Monday.  I also have to cut up the potatoes and get dinner ready while all I want to do is sit here and stare at the wall.

Anyway, that’s not me bragging about what I’ve done today.  It’s just me wanting to let you know how tough it is staying at home when the roles are reversed.  This morning was probably the toughest I have had all week.  Around 8:30 A.M. my son decided to have a blow out (which is, he crapped so much it blew out of his diaper) which we knew was going to happen.  He didn’t go at all yesterday (which is actually not a concern if you can believe it) so we knew today was going to be the day, and let me tell you, it was.  While I was feeding him I kept smelling something.

I put him down on the changing pad in order to check his diaper.  The poop had managed to exit out via one side of it and it was all over his left leg.  When I removed the diaper I also found the poop migrating northward covering not only his back region, but his front region as well.  The clean up was going to be tough, but then it hit me.  My stomach decided now was the time my bowels needed to make their exit (trying not to be too graphic).  Here I was all alone with a baby covered in green poop and I had to go so bad it about doubled me over.  I cleaned him as fast as I could.  I slapped a diaper on him, and tossed the changing pad as well as the footy pajamas into a pile, both of which had poop on them.  I grabbed my son, tossed a blanket around him because all he had on now was a diaper, and I placed him in front of the bathroom door on a boppy (a thing that looks like a cushion horse shoe with a cover on it).  I could now watch him while I did my thing.

When I thought I was done (not sure I was, but I had my son to think about).  I decided to do something I had never done before.  That’s right.  Give him a bath.  This also involved a lot of tactful maneuvering.  You can’t just leave him alone and go and draw a bath.  You have to put him somewhere safe while you get his bath tub ready.  So I put him in the crib, ran the water, filled the tub, stripped him down, and with nerves not made of steel I bathed my son.  I even did his hair.  I was so proud of myself.  My son seemed so happy after wards.  Of course I still had to wash the crib sheets, the blanket that was around him, and everything else he had come in contact with when he was unclean.  All in all it took me sometime to get it done, but I did it.  I even called my wife to tell her because I just felt so good with myself.  Since then it has been pretty easy-going.  He’s napped and fed well.  The diapers so far have remained yellow.

By the way, here’s a tip if you are a new dad.  When you get your kid up in the morning you should go ahead and check their diaper if they will let you do it.  Sometimes they are screaming and kicking so bad you can’t do anything, but feed them right away.  If you can change the diaper though this will help you not to get peed on.  I’m not saying you won’t get peed on if you change the diaper, but it will increase your chances of staying dry.